I’ve noticed a lot of the girly-er/ghetto-er girls in my school that are so anti-gay are always practically on top of each other and taking provocative pictures with each other and basically acting like obnoxious lesbian hoes for one another. But then they’re always getting stupidly grossed out at the sight of a real lesbian couple innocently holding hands or something.
Then there’s us. Me and my friends, some of which ARE lesbian/bi, and we… well, we just hug and shit. You know? We’re not like… licking each other’s faces and acting like we want to fuck each other. I mean obviously it’s different if a pair of my friends are dating each other, but you know what I mean. Sure, I am sometimes jokingly groped by my fellow straight and/or lesbian girl friend, hell sometimes I do it to them, but we don’t go past playfulness and we’re not advertising it and then saying “OH EW NO GAY IS BAD GAY IS DISGUSTING GIRLS DON’T BELONG WITH OTHER GIRLS DAS NASTEH etc. etc.”. What I’m trying to say is that it makes absolutely no sense to post rather homosexual images of yourself and your friends and then get butthurt by seeing a real homosexual couple.
I wish I could have explained better but I had a brain fart in the middle of typing this.
I went through all of my notebooks instead of doing my hw. It’s all crap. It’s just rewritten events in my life with cliche moments, horrible actors, dialogue and plot. I need to get over myself.
I’m not a writer. I’ve been lying to myself for years.
my main issue is being able to RELATE to people.
There are too many pictures on my tumblr.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Absence makes the heart weaker.
Fantasies are wishes that one hopes to enjoy one day. Dreams are fantasies that one casts away into unattainability. You are a fancy that, for fear of confusing reality, I’ve not even dared to dream.
When did the lines of friendship and romance blur? How did it go from “I love you” in a platonic way to “I love you, I need you, I want you, I desire you, I want you as a lover, as a friend, as everything?”
There isn’t much to say. Some things take time to change. Some things can change instantly. You’re driving and all of a sudden, you press hard on the brakes: you almost ran a stop sign. But, your sympathetic system is kicking in. Your heart is racing, your hands grip the steering wheel, you start to sweat, your breaths come out in short gasps. This is what happened. One minute, we’re driving. The next, we’ve lost control. We fell in love, including all of those feelings. Increased heart rates, sweaty palms, short breaths. It was instant, but dangerous.
sylph - a graceful and slender young woman.
euphony - a bearable or agreeable sound.
quixotic - extremely romantic and chivalrous.
pareidolia - a psychological phenomenon, wherein a person has the notion of seeing faces of people in clouds, hearing hidden messages and other such unusual feelings.
phalerate - decorated; made beautiful.
betwixt - between.
crepuscule - twilight; dusk.
epicaricacy - taking pleasure in other’s misfortune; schadenfreud.
nepenthe - something, such as a drink or a drug, capable of making one forget suffering.
exosculate - to kiss fervently or heartily.
lacuna - a blank space or missing part.
euonym - a pleasing or beautiful name.
quarender - a dark red apple.
halcyon - calm and peaceful; tranquil. Prosperous; gold.
ubiquitous - being or seeming to be everywhere at the same time; omnipresent.
soigné - showing sophisticated elegance; fashionable. Well-groomed; polished.
I love words.
Translation: I think, therefore I am.
Losing my voice due to the intense cheering I did at my school’s play.
~Another normal day in my life~
I just decided on my future in a matter of five minutes. Financially, I have to stay in New York City. Does this mean that I want to stay in New York City? no. I don’t want to be here. However, what I want and desire doesn’t really matter. As long as my college has my major and all the tools needed to get me somewhere in life, I don’t mind. I’ll attend The College of Mount Saint Vincent in Riverdale, New York. Beautiful campus and it’s comfortable.
C’est la vie.
You Loved Me, Once
He masks the shades of autumn with winter hues,
dark blue auras, I drown into(o) slowly,
swallowing shards of salt water tear drops
cutting my tear ducts as they rip through my soul,
(w)hol(e)y, like a stigmata, crying bloody mercy
how could he do this to me…
Sometimes I wish you guys on tumblr knew about the people in my school. The place is filled with a wide-range interesting characters.
For example we have a psycho nun who is like Satan’s helper, a self-absorbed wannabe actor-director economics/global teacher, a crazy wannabe lesbian-angsty teen-attention seeking-my family tortures me-girl, and a loud obnoxious 19 year girl who acts like she’s fifteen.
Oh how I wish, you’d all have a field day.
complain that they have so much to do.
I’ve tossed around the idea of having some sort of spiritual belief in the future. Right now, this life can’t be that depressing without some sort of spirituality behind it.
Family means the ability to speak to one another without the feeling fear and guilt. A family should be able to communicate to one another without the use of words. Nothing should be hidden and everyone should be able to ask each other for help if needed. Having a family is our first look at love-familial love. Without familial love, how can one know how to love. How can one know how to take care of each other if we never had a proper example on love and cherishing each other. Family is all about the ability to accept our flaws and life choices without pressuring us into something we do not want to be. Family is about having a choice and discussing it with a sense of maturity. Compassion, empathy, love, and warmth is family.
Sadly, I’ve lost the definition of what family should be in my own family.
It just seems to be the ones that want to talk to me that are stupid. All I want to do is have a decent conversation with a guy. I just want a friend. But, all these guys want to do is talk about sex and make sex jokes when they know that I hate this crap.
~Becoming anti-social from now on~
they become clingy. They asks for hugs every 5 fucking seconds. They hug you every single time you see them in the hallway in school and every class period. They hug you in the morning when you’re not in a hugging mood and they hug you when they leave. They cling to you like wet jeans to slick thighs. They don’t fucking go away. They never leave you alone. They need some sort of affectionate gratification every single minute or they might just get fucking sad and pout.
Stop. Stop hugging me! Just, go away.