The best kind of party? Live music from some really great artists. A shitload of my friends have to be there. If not, then, what’s a party? Haha. Ummm, drinks, weed and some really good comfort food. It doesn’t have to be one of those real parties. I like going to those “let’s chill” parties. These parties are great. Everyone is vibing with one another. There is good much, food, drinks and weed. A plethora of pillows everywhere. Everyone has to be talkin about everything and anything. Debates, networking, video games, karoke. Man, that’ll be the life.
This is for you. This is something you will never read because I will never allow you to get inside the inner workings of my mind again. This is something you’ll never read because I will never allow you to feel what I feel or see how I feel. Because, I can’t allow for our so called “friendship” to change. I think maybe I like not knowing a lot about you. However, I crave to learn the inner workings of your brain. I’d kill to know how you truly feel sometimes or what you’re thinking about. I’d kill to know who you are as a person, not the person I see on the occasion. Truth is? I just want to get to know you. You’re this enigma that will never be solved because I don’t know how to approach these things with you. You’re so good at avoiding things and lying when it comes to me. But, with others, it’s not. I don’t know why and it bothers me. My friend told me that it’s because I’m a girl and you were hurt by numerous girls before. But, that’s not it. I know its not. Yeah, so it makes me slightly jealous. But, I have no other choice. Sigh. Whatever. I’m just trying to hold onto loose ends. But, I still consider you my best friend. Always. Because, you were there for me at my lowest and I know that you’re just that person. So, yeah.
I think what my predicament was last semester was that I didn’t have any motivation. I didn’t have a goal in mind. I didn’t have anything to look forward to at the end of the tunnel. I was just so wrapped up in the idea of college and being more independent than before. It’s so easy to get caught up in the fast life, only to realize that there’s more to life than living fast and partying hard. I never set a goal for me. Until I came home for that long winter break and I realized what my goal was. Now, with this mindset, I hope to pull up my GPA so I can keep my scholarship. Because, dorm life is where I need to be. Being home is the anti-christ.
but because everyone’s so afraid to be who they really are nowadays, I currently think it impossible.
But if time is all I have, I’ll waste it all on you.
I just feel really ugly right now. I can’t explain it. Im going for a job interview with hollister on Friday and I feel like I won’t get the job because I’m ugly and the pimple on my face is such a turn off. Sigh.
I just hate rejection.
but tumblr is such a great distraction.
I hate raisins. They look like roach eggs to me. yuck. Don’t ever offer me raisin oatmeal cookies because I would eat around the raisin. Don’t ever offer me raisin cinnamon bread because I’ll tell you to go back to the store to buy just REGULAR cinnamon bread. Don’t ever offer me cinnamon rolls with raisins because I will sit there and pick out the raisins and then proceed to throw them at you. Don’t ever offer me rum raisin icecream. Catch the hint? I hate raisins. They taste disgusting.
All I want right now is someone to kiss me, bite on my lips and grab me. The other stuff can come later. Honestly. I’m past the idea of a relationship right now. Because, my feelings always get me in trouble and I always fall for the wrong person. So, I’m done with that. Now, let’s make out.
Romance and I don’t sit too well together. Calling myself Natalie Portman from “No Strings Attached,” romantic feelings, love, relationships makes me squirm, anxious, slightly annoyed and afraid. As much as I want a relationship, I don’t want the typical, orthodox version of a relationship. But, I just want some flowers. If someone can just buy me my favorite flowers and give it to me to show how much they appreciate me, then, that’s real.
Everyone has these ideas of “…… This so I know it’s real.” but, flowers, that’s real.
I love listening to people talk about what they’re passionate towards. I don’t care whether or not I have any interest in it, a person’s passion is so damn captivating.
No. I feel as though gifts(physical gifts such as jewelry, etc) are just a physical commodity and they don’t represent the foundation of a relationship. They are just items that only hold monetary value. Sure, a necklace for your six month anniversary might seem lovely, but it’s all about showing someone you love them, but not with gifts. Personally, I’m not about gifts. Especially if I feel like it doesn’t measure up to how I feel. Gifts don’t make the relationship, the people in them do.
If you post a link… A link.. Not the actual content on your site or a host site… The entire site can get blocked and or shut down completely.
Meaning if Google has links to that new mixtape you wanna download, bam Google Is dead.
Wanna post funny videos of cats on Facebook… Bam Facebook is dead.
Wanna post a video of you crying while listening to drake on tumblr… Bam, tumblr is dead.
As of late, a substantial amount of people have been acting towards me as if they are obligated to. “I’m obliged to do this because….” “I’m obliged to feel this way about [me] because….” Frankly, I didn’t notice it as much as before because I surround myself around a lot of people before. But now, new people are coming in and out of my life. Some are even staying due to their own choice or my choice. But, it just seems to be that they’re staying because of some unknown reason not on their own accord. It’s probably some self desire they have and they think I’ll be the one to provide it. I don’t know. All I’ve been saying for the majority of my lifetime so far is that I hold no obligation to you, so why do you feel obliged to stay? This is just some defense mechanism, well, this is what everyone calls it. But, it feels more like pity rather than empathy. Friendships doesn’t feel personal anymore. friendships seem fabricated now. Friendships dont seem real anymore.
dating me would be hilarious because I’d stop talking to you for no reason every few days
Do I love you, do I lust for you, am I a sinner because I do the two?
I wanna go for lunch with a chill ass person tomorrow and have a real conversation.
None of that blahzay blah just real earth level shit.
I don’t want to spend tonight alone.
I don’t really have feelings until 2 am and then i get sad about everything
You know, when people think of lust, some like to think of how it’s abused and it’s a deadly sin. However, lust is just as important as love. When I think of lust, I think of raw, fiery, unadulterated passion that can only accompany the soft, romantic, warmth of love. With love, there’s always lust. You can love someone with all of your heart. You can also lust the person you love. Sexual attraction is love’s best friend. That’s just how I see it
The relationship everyone was rooting for to last, just ended and I feel like jumping in the Hudson River. They were love personified. They beat the odds and beat the distance between her school and his school. I don’t know. They were my hope I guess. Maybe that makes me weird, but, when I saw them, I knew there was hope out there. I knew that love truly exists and that it wasn’t just some fairy tale. Who knows what happened between them but it makes me really sad to see it end. Hopefully, true love prevails and that it’ll work in the end. If not, well, it’s life and you accept what’s thrown at you.